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on a lighter note: Katharine N. Farrell
SWAMI BEYONDANANDA'S GUIDELINES FOR ENLIGHTENMENT

1.  Be a Fundamentalist--make sure the Fun always comes before the Mental. Realize
that life is a situation comedy that will never be canceled. A laugh track has been
provided, and the reason why we are put in the material world is to get more material.
Have a good laughsitive twice a day, and that will ensure regularhilarity.

2.  Remember that each of us has been given a special gift, just for entering - so you are
already a winner!

3.  The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That is where I tell a
vision to you, and you tell a vision to me. That way, if we don't like the programming
we're getting, we can simply change the channel.

4.  Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop.

5.  It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought particles tend to
get caught between the ears, causing a condition called truth decay. So be sure to use
mental floss twice a day. And when you're tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember
what we teach in Swami's Absurdiveness Training class: *Don't get even, get odd.*

6.  If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly live like
nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That way, there'll surely be
nomadness on the planet. And peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little
peace there, pretty soon all the peaces will fit together to make one big peace
everywhere.

7.  I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if you're looking
to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When you find a fault, just don't dwell on it.

8.  There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train the world, and
we'll never have to change it again.

9.  If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad news and some
good news. The bad news is: there is no key to the Universe. The good news is: it has
been left unlocked.